He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
