Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
