Small penises have feelings too.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
