you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
