this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize