Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
