I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
