so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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