considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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