it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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