I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize