they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
