Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
