my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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