He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
