would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
