I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
