She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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