I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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