Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
