I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
