Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
