My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
