I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
