ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
