Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
