Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
