God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
