i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
