woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
