If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was CRYING into my vagina
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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