watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
