i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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