Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
