She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
