dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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