He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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