Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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