Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
