I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
