If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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