This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
