How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize