you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
