the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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