So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
