i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
