We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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