Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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