good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
