The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
