I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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