I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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