capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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