ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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